REASON BEYOND REASONS

It is a beautiful June afternoon. The delicate sparkle of the ebbing summer and the misty sheen of the arriving monsoons have mingled together to create a delightful atmosphere. The azure sky is lit with creamy clouds. It is very quiet, except for the slight rustle of the shady leaves in the soft wind.
As I lazily lie next to the window and drink in the simple grandeur outside,I feel peaceful. An occasional pink blossom peeps at me. Playful bees play hide and seek among the sunlit leaves. A dry leaf embarks on its last journey as it falls down from its high throne, gently cradled by the hands of the invisible wind to the lap of the ground.
It is a beautiful time- lovely moments strung together to create an unfathomable feeling. As I unflinchingly gaze at Nature, strange emotions light my heart. I always worship every moment of profound solitude I experience, but this is something special. I am alone, but not in the least bit lonely. My soul seems to converse with every cupped leaf, every ray of light, every brown crease on the tree. And in that tranquility, they shared a secret, a wonderful thought with me. A thought, a simple word of simple wisdom, a gentle understanding that has somehow changed the way I think. It wouldn't be an exaggeration to say that it somehow, in its own subtle way, changed my life.
It began with a question. A normal, curious question- Why?
Why are things the way they are? Are we REALLY FREE ? Why does the tree take so much of trouble to sprout from tiny seeds to the majestic form in front of me with its emerald display? Why are the tiny blossoms, blushing pink, hidden away amidst the leaves? Why are the timid leaves silent about their glorious love affair with the sun? Why do the bees buzz around, knowing well honey isn't anywhere nearby? Why does that little fly just sit on the glass window? Why are the clouds so petulant? Why am I thinking of all this?
They say love has no reason. I would expand it and say NOTHING has a reason. Yes yes I know. I could, or anyone could, conjure up numberless reasons for numerous things. But I have realised, strangely, that life, when looked at from the eyes of LIFE itself, has no reason. It isn't just about eating, sleeping, and mating (and a million other things that can be added). I would definitely not like to pull down the horizon of life so low.
I understood that pinning a reason to something, no matter what it is, makes it bleak. It snatches away its purity and its mystery. Reasons somehow make things materialistic. The lake of joy and depth gets dry.
At this point, when I think of why I dance, I am left speechless. True, dance has, without my knowledge, shaped me into what I am. Dance has made me look special among my peers. Dance has made my days exciting and colourful. Dance has brought happiness to me, my family, mam, and many others. But......
Do I dance just for these? When someone asks me why I dance, I cannot quote them, because it is not just these. It is these, and many more, and something else. That SOMETHING ELSE is the unquestionable love I feel. That SOMETHING ELSE is the unflinching yearning in my heart. That SOMETHING ELSE is unexplainable, undefinable, unattainable, unquestionable, unanswerable, un-understandable. That SOMETHING ELSE, is the reason beyond reasons. It isn't a reason in itself. It is that state, that thought, that feel, that transcends all lists and numbers. ( Blame the English language. There is no particular word for that).
Life too is beyond reasons. At every point, there always exists an unknown territory to be explored. It is beyond the zillions and zillions of dust particles contained in the universe. It is beyond the countless mysterious sparks lighting up our nights. There are no answers, no reasons. Everything just IS. Everything is a quest. For everything, absolutely everything, there is a reason beyond reasons.......

(16/6/09)

TO ' YOU ' ...

I am - a spark in the flame that you are,
Your footprints I ll follow, I ll never be left far;
I am - a thought that wont leave your mind,
Everywhere you go, a yearning me you ll find;
In your soul I ll dance with your every breath,
Before it finds you, I will entice even death.......

NOVEMBER WIND

Like the incessant, engulfing wind of november,
let me breeze through your mind's misty december.

Through the deep valleys of green kissed grass,
through the melting shimmer of snow in your eye;
through the secret, mysterious caves of your heart,
like a whiff of wind I shall gently glide by.

Neither have I seen angels' paradise,
nor do I wish to at nectarean showers gaze;
I shall drench in the prattles of your touch,
and keep you warm in my cool embrace.

Your eyes are my snow- covered gorges,
your words my little gardens where I stroll around;
your presence a chirpy reminder of joy,
your company- a generous blessing I've found.

In your mind is a flame I had long lost,
in your heart unending meadows I had once danced upon;
In your vast universe I ve found a part of me,
when you look into the mirror,
dont you too see me ?

Like the incessant wind of november,
let me merge into your enveloping december.
Amidst the ripples of all your thoughts,
that spring around like sparkling streams;
Amidst passions that in solitude seek
the comfort of hope's transparent beams;
Amidst all the feelings that breathe in your heart,
amidst all the waves in the oceans of your soul;
like the november wind I'll breeze by with glee;
in every breath you take, I want you to find me.

(17/11/08)