Tuesday, May 18, 2010

..........

It is a strange and silent night. The sky is hauntingly pink and empty after an incessant rain. I look at the sky and I fall in love with it immediately, coz thats how my heart feels now - totally pink and totally empty.
The most frustrating thing is that I cant find a way of escaping from the deafening din inside me to the tangible silence outside. God. I ve never stood at the edge of a steep cliff and dived into the ocean some 1000ft below; but now I know exactly how it would feel like.
5 years.... 5 long years of my life. Ckp was like my secomd home, and I've treated it like nothing else but my home. I have loved it, hated it, been amused by it, gone through mornings when I just dint want to step into it, and stayed there past dusk not wanting to step out of it.
I have laughed, cried, loved, learnt, danced, hoped, hated, achieved, and dreamed in its green lap. The rusty orange-brown leaves that eternally tumble around have sometimes created shadows in my dreams. Its green arms have embraced my tears and inspired life in me.
Like delightful spring lovely people came into my life. The breeze of time is breezing by and its time to move on- but the fragrances shall linger on, to remind me of their presence, and to remind me of what I am because of them. There are no regrets, no grudges, no untold yearnings. Only one thing mercilessly makes me numb; those few, precious relationships, that have remained as relationships only in my mind........
It is hard to watch realities melt into memories. But actually think about it- reality exists for that one particular moment that it has to. Memories last for a life time. Can there ever be a minute when the mind is free from its shodows?
These 5 long years were probably just a moment, a tiny speck in the endless saga of that amusing thing called time. And for nothing, absolutely nothing in the world, would I have exchanged this 'moment' for another.....
Much love......

UNSUPERVISED Thoughts #4

Sometimes I wished I was writing fiction; but my metaphorical voyage through an unseen (but deeply felt) history and an impregnable fut...