This is a tough post to write.
Bullying at school and at college exists at different levels, for different reasons, everywhere around the world. Having been a victim myself at college (for a completely different reason and a completely different manner than the one shown in the video below though), it is very easy for me to relate to the fear of fear, and the fear of not belonging. Of feeling like an outcast.
At 25/26 we are quite mature; but how do we handle it at 15/16 ? When I look back I see a total blank, for along the years I have found a way to numb the pain and even ridicule it. But when I try to imagine a 16 year old me back in that situation where no one talked or no one sat next to you, it makes me cringe and wonder why I was silent about it. It is easy for me to say that now, but that 16 year old still just shakes her head and cries silently - she had always thought it was her fault, she was not worthy of love, and that what was happening was what she deserved.
I wonder how many more 16 year olds are going through this for whatever reasons and how many 16 year olds are buried inside 20's and 30's and 40's.
Is it possible to ever empty yourself of your earliest experiences? To see with fresh eyes?
Last fall I attended a 'Beat Bullying' Training workshop and was taught the various ways I could handle a situation if a young person were to show signs of being bullied or being depressed.
I SO wish I knew these simple things back then. Unfortunately I could not follow the workshop and become an online counselor because of my college schedules, but it certainly opened my eyes as to how much going on is actually all hidden. And so much of it is unbelievable, the newest being Cyber bullying. In fact even 10 and 12 year-olds have massive depression problems and suicidal tendencies.
Who is to blame?
The new 'generation'? The 'modern' culture and upbringing? The 'too early loss of innocence' age of technology ? The whole system ? Parents ? The educational systems ?
Is there any one answer or any answer at all?
Not new stuff really; but every time you come upon an incident it shakes you up and wakes you up again, no matter for however brief a time.
Reasons don't matter, whose fault it is doesn't matter, what matters is that a young person's vulnerability is taken for granted and misused against them. It doesn't matter who misuses it - for family, friends, the society- everything matters in shaping an individual and break a cord with even one of them, and you have a person scarred and cut. It doesn't matter for what reason as well, for you cant really compare people's experiences and say 'They have gone through so much more! you should learn to cope up!' - Because that is perhaps the most insensitive thing to say; for peoples reactions to pain are different and of varying intensities.
Some cope, some seek help, some just give up.
Some do not realize they need help until it is too late.
Some just cant fight anymore because it doesn't seem to make any difference.
I will not give judgmental remarks about Amanda and about her particular situation here, but will definitely say that talking about the bad uses of the net and the lost innocence of the present youth is all just crap talk. If only we all can keep our common sense intact.
P.S - If you see a child or a young person, just smile. Those years are supposed to remain as smiles, not as scars.
One smile of yours could build a child's life; you never know when and how.
And wherever, whenever possible, sensitize kids against bullying.
Please.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vOHXGNx-E7E
Bullying at school and at college exists at different levels, for different reasons, everywhere around the world. Having been a victim myself at college (for a completely different reason and a completely different manner than the one shown in the video below though), it is very easy for me to relate to the fear of fear, and the fear of not belonging. Of feeling like an outcast.
At 25/26 we are quite mature; but how do we handle it at 15/16 ? When I look back I see a total blank, for along the years I have found a way to numb the pain and even ridicule it. But when I try to imagine a 16 year old me back in that situation where no one talked or no one sat next to you, it makes me cringe and wonder why I was silent about it. It is easy for me to say that now, but that 16 year old still just shakes her head and cries silently - she had always thought it was her fault, she was not worthy of love, and that what was happening was what she deserved.
I wonder how many more 16 year olds are going through this for whatever reasons and how many 16 year olds are buried inside 20's and 30's and 40's.
Is it possible to ever empty yourself of your earliest experiences? To see with fresh eyes?
Last fall I attended a 'Beat Bullying' Training workshop and was taught the various ways I could handle a situation if a young person were to show signs of being bullied or being depressed.
I SO wish I knew these simple things back then. Unfortunately I could not follow the workshop and become an online counselor because of my college schedules, but it certainly opened my eyes as to how much going on is actually all hidden. And so much of it is unbelievable, the newest being Cyber bullying. In fact even 10 and 12 year-olds have massive depression problems and suicidal tendencies.
Who is to blame?
The new 'generation'? The 'modern' culture and upbringing? The 'too early loss of innocence' age of technology ? The whole system ? Parents ? The educational systems ?
Is there any one answer or any answer at all?
Not new stuff really; but every time you come upon an incident it shakes you up and wakes you up again, no matter for however brief a time.
Reasons don't matter, whose fault it is doesn't matter, what matters is that a young person's vulnerability is taken for granted and misused against them. It doesn't matter who misuses it - for family, friends, the society- everything matters in shaping an individual and break a cord with even one of them, and you have a person scarred and cut. It doesn't matter for what reason as well, for you cant really compare people's experiences and say 'They have gone through so much more! you should learn to cope up!' - Because that is perhaps the most insensitive thing to say; for peoples reactions to pain are different and of varying intensities.
Some cope, some seek help, some just give up.
Some do not realize they need help until it is too late.
Some just cant fight anymore because it doesn't seem to make any difference.
I will not give judgmental remarks about Amanda and about her particular situation here, but will definitely say that talking about the bad uses of the net and the lost innocence of the present youth is all just crap talk. If only we all can keep our common sense intact.
P.S - If you see a child or a young person, just smile. Those years are supposed to remain as smiles, not as scars.
One smile of yours could build a child's life; you never know when and how.
And wherever, whenever possible, sensitize kids against bullying.
Please.
