Well hello lovely people of the lovely world !!! :)
Yes, you caught me. My warm greeting is partly an attempt to sound cheerful and partly an attempt at sarcasm.
Getting up everyday has become a re-enactment of my earlier panic attacks; what with such gory news all over. No, don't worry, I will not bore you with what the internet and news has been flooded with for the past couple of days, but will go a step lower, a step personal, a step that though quite trivial and existential in the vast scheme of things, is gradually beginning to answer my questions and fears about the world and its state as a whole.
It has been a while since I have come back home, and needless to say, I miss London.
Like hell.
As an artist I get attached to spaces too soon and too intense, and London's misty spaces and grasses I still feel on my skin.
But it has been great here too, catching up with family and friends, laughing at old jokes, and swimming in a swelling tide of the past and the future together.
One thing irks me though. Many things do, but this one more persistently, and this is where my step of a yet feeble understanding starts.
As a 'young' girl of marriageable age, after having done my MA as well, should I not look to settle down? Usually, no one who lectures me has the patience to listen to my lectures about love or marriage or life, and I am often brushed aside with something along the lines of ' Some things you need to adjust in life'.
Oh well.
Come to think of it; they are actually helping me make my life easier. I could find a very handsome, well paid, 'supportive' husband in any part of the world, and settle to a very convenient, perhaps even luxurious lifestyle. If I agree to 'adjust' a little that is, adjust my thoughts, my emotions, and my personal philosophies a little so that it could suit the situation admirably.
And then my gaze wanders to the vast vast space out in front of my balcony all mingled with so many more lives.
Who would I adjust for?
What should I adjust for?
Whose invisible satisfaction will my personal adjustment satisfy?
Forget about me now, lets not be selfish; but why do humans think 'adjustment' is a way of life, no matter what the matter is? From where does this pathetic and pessimistic view of a human and his life stem from ?
And people have learned to adjust to everything, for that's how the world works.
Adjust to the faith you are born into.
Adjust to the job you end up with.
Adjust to the system a little.
Adjust to the country a little.
Have an oppressive leader? Adjust a little.
Adjust to the neighbors' noise a little.
Adjust to whatever the media of all kinds (the biggest weapon in today's world but perhaps the most stupidly used) feeds you with.
Adjust to the surroundings you are in.
Adjust to the education system and whatever it gives you (or doesn't).
Adjust to the circumstances.
Adjust to the situation you are in, whether you agree with it or not.
This mass 'adjusting' mentality is perhaps the biggest unseen terrorist looming large today.
It is these small adjustments and agreements to oppression to ideas, individuality and existence no matter how small or big which burst as mass exasperation.
Remember all the revolutions in History? It is not a coincidence that all of them were instigated by the mass who were done with adjusting to the systems.
So you keep adjusting until there is nothing left. Yes, squeeze in your butt (and your mind) a little more, you will fit in on the seat, and we can all have a jolly ride :)
Just so you don't take me to be a complete bitch, let me make it obvious that there is a slight difference between convenience and conviction, between being assertive and odious. Between adapting and adjusting. And of course between empathy and adjusting.
The world needs a lot more empathy, a lot more adaptability, a lot more true freedom and not just conditional freedom, and less and less of adjustments and compromises to bullshit.
It is OK to say 'Its OK' now, but it wont be ten years down the line when that 'OK' pays a big price for being on the end of the adjustment chain.
You saw the picture of the thousands of Parisians gathering in unity with candles and slogans and tears and anger against the injustice? Maybe the whole world should gather, at the center of the earth around a huge fire, and burn away everything we have been oppressed and limited with - every old idea, every notion, every system, every organised chaos, and every boundary.
True inner revolution in the masses seems to be a viable answer for today's abstract world.
Unless everyone stops feeling completely and becomes numb.
Yes, you caught me. My warm greeting is partly an attempt to sound cheerful and partly an attempt at sarcasm.
Getting up everyday has become a re-enactment of my earlier panic attacks; what with such gory news all over. No, don't worry, I will not bore you with what the internet and news has been flooded with for the past couple of days, but will go a step lower, a step personal, a step that though quite trivial and existential in the vast scheme of things, is gradually beginning to answer my questions and fears about the world and its state as a whole.
It has been a while since I have come back home, and needless to say, I miss London.
Like hell.
As an artist I get attached to spaces too soon and too intense, and London's misty spaces and grasses I still feel on my skin.
But it has been great here too, catching up with family and friends, laughing at old jokes, and swimming in a swelling tide of the past and the future together.
One thing irks me though. Many things do, but this one more persistently, and this is where my step of a yet feeble understanding starts.
As a 'young' girl of marriageable age, after having done my MA as well, should I not look to settle down? Usually, no one who lectures me has the patience to listen to my lectures about love or marriage or life, and I am often brushed aside with something along the lines of ' Some things you need to adjust in life'.
Oh well.
Come to think of it; they are actually helping me make my life easier. I could find a very handsome, well paid, 'supportive' husband in any part of the world, and settle to a very convenient, perhaps even luxurious lifestyle. If I agree to 'adjust' a little that is, adjust my thoughts, my emotions, and my personal philosophies a little so that it could suit the situation admirably.
And then my gaze wanders to the vast vast space out in front of my balcony all mingled with so many more lives.
Who would I adjust for?
What should I adjust for?
Whose invisible satisfaction will my personal adjustment satisfy?
Forget about me now, lets not be selfish; but why do humans think 'adjustment' is a way of life, no matter what the matter is? From where does this pathetic and pessimistic view of a human and his life stem from ?
And people have learned to adjust to everything, for that's how the world works.
Adjust to the faith you are born into.
Adjust to the job you end up with.
Adjust to the system a little.
Adjust to the country a little.
Have an oppressive leader? Adjust a little.
Adjust to the neighbors' noise a little.
Adjust to whatever the media of all kinds (the biggest weapon in today's world but perhaps the most stupidly used) feeds you with.
Adjust to the surroundings you are in.
Adjust to the education system and whatever it gives you (or doesn't).
Adjust to the circumstances.
Adjust to the situation you are in, whether you agree with it or not.
This mass 'adjusting' mentality is perhaps the biggest unseen terrorist looming large today.
It is these small adjustments and agreements to oppression to ideas, individuality and existence no matter how small or big which burst as mass exasperation.
Remember all the revolutions in History? It is not a coincidence that all of them were instigated by the mass who were done with adjusting to the systems.
So you keep adjusting until there is nothing left. Yes, squeeze in your butt (and your mind) a little more, you will fit in on the seat, and we can all have a jolly ride :)
Just so you don't take me to be a complete bitch, let me make it obvious that there is a slight difference between convenience and conviction, between being assertive and odious. Between adapting and adjusting. And of course between empathy and adjusting.
The world needs a lot more empathy, a lot more adaptability, a lot more true freedom and not just conditional freedom, and less and less of adjustments and compromises to bullshit.
It is OK to say 'Its OK' now, but it wont be ten years down the line when that 'OK' pays a big price for being on the end of the adjustment chain.
You saw the picture of the thousands of Parisians gathering in unity with candles and slogans and tears and anger against the injustice? Maybe the whole world should gather, at the center of the earth around a huge fire, and burn away everything we have been oppressed and limited with - every old idea, every notion, every system, every organised chaos, and every boundary.
True inner revolution in the masses seems to be a viable answer for today's abstract world.
Unless everyone stops feeling completely and becomes numb.
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